john eldredge your name is feared in hell wild at heart

My wife was still my fiance at the time and we gathered with friends at a local dive known for its hot wings ** and BLTs which bills itself as the oldest bar and grill in Kansas City. I still remember celebrating New Year’s Eve on – a new year, a new decade and a new millenium all at the same time.

On rare occasions, beginnings get stacked on beginnings, which we REALLY love to call out. We have no losses, no weekends of rain to disrupt yard work, no missed workouts and TIME, yes, we believe we still have time. At the start of something new, our hope rises up naturally because (1) we haven’t blown it yet, and (2) all possibilities still seem available. the team gets to the Super Bowl….we complete the yard renovation….I start a new workout routine….we finally get the car INSIDE the garage, and on and on. It’s funny how we are wired to call out beginnings…. to a new year, a new football season – for some of us even a new bar of soap or bottle of shampoo doesn’t go unnoticed. I began to see that they were much more they were spiritual abiding places that were my comforters and friends in a very spiritual way literally, other lovers.Tomorrow is the beginning of Fall. I had always thought of these things as just bad habits. From this abiding place, I would feel free to use some soul - cocaine - a violence video with maybe a little sexual titillation thrown in, perhaps having a little more alcohol with a meal than I might normally drink - things that would allow me to feel better for just a little while. My 'comforter', my abiding place, was cynicism and rebellion. Why is it always so hard? It's never going to change.' If no one noticed that I was struggling and asked me what was wrong, I found my sentences shifting again to a more cynical level, 'Who cares? Life really is a joke.' Surprisingly, I noticed by the time I was saying these last sentences, I was feeling better. If no connection came, I would start to say things like, 'Life really stinks. I felt the 'something' as an anxiety, a loneliness, and a need for connection with someone. The journey to this place would often start with me walking around disturbed, feeling as if there was something deep inside that I needed to put into words but couldn't quite capture. “I began to notice that when I was tired or anxious, there were certain sentences I would say in my head that lead me to a very familiar place.

John eldredge your name is feared in hell wild at heart